The Glittery Alpacas and Smack dat Ass can’t catch a break, both clubs falling to 1-2 in week 3 of the fantasy football season.

The Glittery Alpacas

This loss hurt. This is the most painful loss to date because the Alpacas should have had this one, but only two players lived up to expectations and the killer 32 point performance by the Arizona Cardinals Defense, smacking the Philadelphia Eagles, was negated. Here’s the thing about that — Eagles QB Michael Vick needs to practice more and get his head in the game. I saw a tweet of his once where he was commenting about Madden which has since been taken down. It was during the Atlanta Falcons/Denver Broncos Monday Night Football game, so I replied, “@MikeVickĀ Dude — get off twitter to talk about your #Madden experiences and study some film. #Eagles.” Hey look — I don’t hate Michael Vick. I really don’t. He fucked up bad and paid his time in federal prison. Still, on a football level, screw Michael Vick. Due to his actions he grounded the Falcons franchise for a season where they were one of the worst in the league… but it’s tough to be too mad about that because Matt Ryan came from it. It is strange how Vick came back to the NFL the way he did, playing for the Eagles. Too bad the guy is made of glass.

Anyway, enough about Michael Vick. Oh! Except to note he netted only 5 points this week for my opponent, the Scranton Beet Farmers. Unfortunately, it mattered not. Here are the week 3 results:

Lets avoid discussing the disappointment of this week for a moment and focus on something positive — the Alpaca’s managed to find a crazy waiver wire option in Houston Texans QB Matt Schaub, dropping St. Louis WR Brandon Gibson. He’s one of the best QB’s in the league and he’s all Glittery as my backup. I’ll definitely need him for week 7 when Ryan has a bye, but also if he goes down, which I really hope doesn’t happen. The Falcons are looking hot at 3-0 and he’s the reason why. The Falcons’ defense is a major reason, too. The Beet Farmers rib-kicked me with them for 24 solid points. I hate that about fantasy, when your team hurts your… team. You understand. Speaking of defense, the Cardinals were a waiver wire re-pick up this week for the Alpacas, which was key.

My WR’s sucked, a total bummer, but they all still have upside. Randall Cobb, Roddy White, Anquan Boldin and Donnie Avery all had lame games which won’t happen week in week out. Of course Titus Young has his best game of the season when I bench him.

I had to dump TE Jacob Tamme for a more productive option. I would have grabbed Pittsburgh Steelers TE Heath Miller but he has a bye in week 4 so I picked up the Minnesota Vikings TE Kyle Rudolph who has been productive. The big question mark is how long will it last, but the upside is worth the risk.

The teams my players are facing this week indicate potential for big points from them all. I’m being bold and shuffling around my WR lineup, benching Avery & Cobb in place of Young and Randy Moss. I have to play who’s hot and I like Moss’ matchup against the New York Jets. I feel like any one of these guys can have a productive week. Again — I’m looking for consistency in somebody. Unfortunately, benching Boldin for the second week in a row will likely bite me in the butt — he put up 15 points Thursday night against the Cleveland Browns and is riding the bench. Jeez.

This week is a must-win for the Glittery Alpacas, taking on the Regal Beezers. The Beezers are undefeated but behind my team in total points. Also, there’s a little unspoken rivalry going on between the two clubs.

Smack dat Ass

Smack dat Ass suffered their second loss despite putting up solid numbers and would have defeated every other team in the league except for two this week. Adding fuel to the fire, their manager was sleeping on the waiver wire, forgetting to set his options before Wednesday morning. As a result, they missed picking up the Arizona Cardinals defense and are stuck with the D of the Dallas Cowboys. Total suck. The team did swing Buffalo Bills running back Tashard Choice who’s a decent option in a pinch if Buffalo’s backfield remains unhealthy.

The biggest blow of the week was benching RB Darren McFadden when he finally gets going, and he did it against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Who saw that one coming? Carolina Panthers WR Brandon LaFell started over him, having big games in weeks 1 and 2 but being a total non-factor in week 3. Needless to say, DMC is running week 4.

On paper this team looks sick and there is no reason for them to be 1-2. It appears this week’s opponent is a dummy team, so a victory is certainly in order.