Silly Stuff

Amazing Arizona Comic Con 2014 took place at the Phoenix Convention Center last weekend, January 24-26. I represented BOOM! Studios at our booth, along with writers Paul Jenkins (“Deathmatch,” “Inhumans”) & Eric M. Esquivel (“Bravest Warriors,” “Loki: Ragnarok and Roll”) and artists Wook-Jin Hunter Clark (“Adventure Time: Flip Side,” “Megagogo”) & Missy Pena (“Bravest Warriors”), plus BOOM!’s Marketing Assistant, Stephanie Hocutt. They’re all awesome people! Below are some memories from throughout the weekend.

This weekend was the 5th annual Long Beach Comic & Horror Con at the Long Beach Convention Center in California. It was a mellow show with a consistent stream of excited fans who were interested in the BOOM! Studios and Archaia line-up, and indie stuff in general. Below is a small gallery of my favorite photos of the show, taken from behind the BOOM! booth!

Starbucks lady does not approve of my far superior cup of Tim Hortons.


So a whole lot of this is going down right now:


These are the rankings in the CFFL, my fantasy football pay league — my team is Nope. I definitely wasn’t expecting this kind of start. We’ll see how long it lasts, but I’m of the philosophy to live in the now — and right now my team is fuckin’ awesome!

Here are my team’s stats through the first two weeks in the CFFL:



Oh, and I have Michael Turner on my bench because I strongly believe by week 6 he’ll be starting for someone. Depending on how Jacquizz Rodgers and Jason Snelling work out, it may even be my Atlanta Falcons.

I also play in two other leagues, but I’m 0-2 and 1-1. If I win in both this week, you may read about it here.

I just exited the 10:30pm showing of “Man of Steel” in IMAX 3D and I’m giving it to you straight — I thought it was a fun, action packed movie. It’s also easily my favorite Superman movie.

And here’s why:

Spoilers, obviously.


1) I’m not a Superman fan. At all. If there is one mainstream comic book character I care the least for it’s Superman. But I enjoyed “Man of Steel” more than all the “Batman” movies from any decade combined. Not everything has to be “dark” this and “hanging people from bridges” that.

2) My not being a big Superman fan likely allots the leisure of viewing this movie through a different lens than the classic “Christopher Reeve is God” Superman fan. I know I just struck a chord. Believe me though, I get it — you love those movies and the man in them who wore the suit. We can all speak to something like that. But they’re not as timeless to others as you may believe. Have you ever tried re-watching the classic “Billy Batson and the Magic of Shazam!” 1970s TV show? The Reeves era of the Superman movie franchise is not quite that bad, but not too far off either. I’d like to repeat what a dude behind me in line said tonight that about sums up this argument: “You can watch Christopher Reeve at home — I’m going to watch Superman in IMAX 3D.”

3) To that point, Henry Cavill makes a great Superman. Give him a few more years and another movie, and Christopher Reeve may as well take that seat George Reeves, Brandon Routh and all those other “phased out” Superman actors have been saving for him. Those other guys and Reeve are a piece of Superman history, but Cavill’s legacy has just begun. He certainly has the chops to make Superman his own. The potential is there for him to become an icon for the new breed of comic book fans. To put it simply: Jor-El would be proud of his son since true to the El family crest, he’s inspired hope in the Superman franchise.

4) SCI-FI SUPERMAN WORKS! This point can not be understated. Watching this film in 3D when the Krypton scenes were in full effect was breathtaking. From the scope of the planet, to the slow moving ships in the background and the fauna that live amongst the Kryptonians — it felt real. Looked it too. I would absolutely watch a prequel movie starring Zod and Jor-El on this planet — and other worlds — all freakin’ day.

5) When Zod was telegraphing the “We are not alone” message to the people of Earth, that creeped me out. Actually, Zod in general creeped me out. He reminded me of a religious fanatic who’s just incapable of seeing things any other way and resorts to extremes. When Zod said he was born or programmed or whatever to protect Krypton, it really put things in perspective on who he is. Then when he goes after Superman, it’s like he’s declared “If Superman lives, that means Krypton dies. It’s in my DNA to ensure that does not happen.” Intense stuff!

6) High-speed combat never looked so awesome! Man, the special effects team nailed the fight scenes. Except for the choreography being totally ignorant of Superman’s environment — and all that entails (see #1 below) — the fights looked wicked. Yes, everything was pretty much done via computer but a cool thought is these fight scenes are only going to look better as time goes on. Superman’s heat vision looked scary — I’m looking forward to his realization he has freezing breath.

7) Zod’s main general lady was so, so sexy. I feel ashamed to admit this, but I found her taking extreme pleasure in her job and ass kicking ways to be disturbingly hot. (Sorry Lois)

8) Which brings me to Lois Lane. I really liked this version of Lois. The choice of Amy Adams III to play her and not some outlandish super duper star like, say, Megan Fox, was a great move. And an important one — this movie becomes borderline intolerable if scenes with Lois suck. They didn’t, and she actually felt like a real person to me… which is who Lois Lane is, right? I liked her edge, persistence and ability to overcome challenges. Nicely done Amy Adams III!

And here’s why I couldn’t help but laugh at “Man of Steel:”

1) Superman totally killed a shit ton of people in the final act. And by a shit ton, I mean at least a couple hundred thousand. From destroying buildings, to making debris fall all the fuck over town, to destroying things in orbit that crash to Earth, to ducking trucks so they can blow up buildings behind him — the collateral life toll Superman’s responsible for has to be at least 200,000. Even after the main battle was over and Superman was fighting Zod mano-a-mano, he was still killing civilians, smashing through apartment buildings and stuff. Imagine being one of those people. You’re all like, “HOLY FUCK! Did you see all that crazy shit out there!? Aliens and ships and gravitational carnage and stuff!? WE LIVED THROUGH THAT!” You’re high-fiving your wife about to make a bagel when — BAM! Your ass is decapitated by Superman’s forearm as he’s bursting through your apartment building, punching Zod. That would suck so hard. And it happened. To hundreds of people.

2) Throughout most of the 3rd act I was expecting Will Smith and Jeff Golblum to come down and be like, “Really guys?”

3) Do we really need to computer animate newborn babies? I mean, really — there aren’t enough new born babies, like, everywhere to film? Then, if you must, computer whizz-matazz that baby’s face onto a doll or something and make it look good? Newborn Kal-El freaked me out almost more than Zod. Animated baby faces make me shudder.

4) Imagine if Metropolis (which is supposed to be what, Los Angeles?) really existed and was utterly destroyed like in “Man of Steel.” Do you have any fucking idea what that would do to the global economy? Business across the globe would be affected, and the economic structure as we know it would cease to exist. We’d be literally growing corn and shit on our front lawns. Damn, son! Wait. Wait a minute — we have Superman. It’s all good!

5) Pa Kent’s death. Clark’s driving with ma and pa in his late teens, early 20s when suddenly a tornado strikes down in the middle of a clogged Kansas road. Everyone’s rushing for an overpass, when Clark realizes his pooch was left behind in their truck. Shit! Running from the safety of the overpass, Clark runs towards the chaos. He and pa Kent meet in the middle. “Dad — our dog is still in the car!” “Don’t worry son. Here, take this kid I’m holding to safety — I’ll run back into the tornado without Superman powers to save our dog!” Right, because that makes sense. They’re both at an equidistant point to the dog — why didn’t pa Kent keep jogging on his merry way to the overpass with the kid, while Clark does his Superman thing real quick and saves their dog? Nobody would have noticed because they’re all crapping their pants over the giant tornado coming at them. It didn’t really make a whole lot of sense. And I laughed.

6) The scientist guy who solved the riddle of Kal’s life pod thing. “Hmm… that looks like a square, which if turned sideways is a diamond… so… yes! That matches! YES! That’s it! I’M A GENIUS!” Then he pressed the Super Key into the Super Slot which launched the thing at Zod’s ship, resulting in a black hole that sent the surviving Kryptonians into the Phantom Zone. He saved the day, kind of. Nice work, man — for science!

7) Can we now, as a movie going audience, be over the mass destruction of cities, its people and crashing buildings? It’s getting a little depressing.

8) Superman taking on the guise of Clark Kent by putting on “the glasses” during his first day at the Daily Planet was so ridiculous. Zack Snyder and Christopher Nolan did such a great job making this movie feel like it fit in reality (willing suspension of disbelief being considered here, people!), but the second Clark put those glasses on as a disguise… What the motherfuck man. IT’S 2013 AND SO OBVIOUS WHO YOU ARE! Also, doesn’t that fat kid from the Ihop and all those other kids and teachers from Kansas know who Clark Kent really is already? Yeah, bro — cover blown!

Bottom line: go see this movie! If you’re an old school Superman fan don’t lie to yourself — you’re going to see “Man of Steel.” Don’t try too hard to find things to hate about it. Like Krypton, classic Superman’s had his chance. It’s time for the character to embrace the new millennium and this movie’s a great start.

Now we know who Batman’s pulling for in the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs!


The Los Angeles Kings begin their series against the San Jose Sharks tonight at Staples Center.


UPDATE: Gotta love the fan interaction of the @LAKings twitter account!


You have three hundred words to justify the existence of your favorite person, place, or thing. Failure to convince will result in it vanishing without a trace. Go!


Please, for the love of your deity — do not let “Sailor Moon” slip into the Negaverse and out of existence.

This may sound strange coming from a 28 year old man, but believe me — I need “Sailor Moon” to never go away. Without it, my daughter would go absolutely bananas.

“Sailor Moon” is the only show her mother and I can put on the TV and it instantly settles her down. She becomes transfixed by the bright, flashing colors and the catchy theme songs. Plus, my daughter’s first love is clearly that “mega hunk,” Tuxedo Mask (Sailor Moon’s words, not mine). Her face lights up and she babbles excited love gibberish whenever he comes on screen. I’ll admit, the dude’s a total badass who has his own moral code and is full of snark — he’s always saving the Sailor Scouts and lovingly teasing Serena, a.k.a. Sailor Moon. He’s also a snazzy dresser. Tuxedo Mask’s the kind of guy a father can get behind.


“Sailor Moon” may not be my favorite thing, but it’s certainly my daughter’s. She’s almost 2 years old and can’t yet speak for herself, so as her Dad, I’m coming to the defense of her favorite thing in the world.

Don’t let everything “Sailor Moon” vanish without a trace — the result will be this little girl becoming heartbroken, and her eventual transformation into the next Queen Beryl.

That’d be super mean.

The cover to Dynamite Entertainment’s “Damsels” #2 by artist Joseph Michael Linsner:

Alright then. Time to go read “Fables.”


The Glittery Alpacas and Smack dat Ass can’t catch a break, both clubs falling to 1-2 in week 3 of the fantasy football season.

The Glittery Alpacas

This loss hurt. This is the most painful loss to date because the Alpacas should have had this one, but only two players lived up to expectations and the killer 32 point performance by the Arizona Cardinals Defense, smacking the Philadelphia Eagles, was negated. Here’s the thing about that — Eagles QB Michael Vick needs to practice more and get his head in the game. I saw a tweet of his once where he was commenting about Madden which has since been taken down. It was during the Atlanta Falcons/Denver Broncos Monday Night Football game, so I replied, “@MikeVick Dude — get off twitter to talk about your #Madden experiences and study some film. #Eagles.” Hey look — I don’t hate Michael Vick. I really don’t. He fucked up bad and paid his time in federal prison. Still, on a football level, screw Michael Vick. Due to his actions he grounded the Falcons franchise for a season where they were one of the worst in the league… but it’s tough to be too mad about that because Matt Ryan came from it. It is strange how Vick came back to the NFL the way he did, playing for the Eagles. Too bad the guy is made of glass.

Anyway, enough about Michael Vick. Oh! Except to note he netted only 5 points this week for my opponent, the Scranton Beet Farmers. Unfortunately, it mattered not. Here are the week 3 results:

Lets avoid discussing the disappointment of this week for a moment and focus on something positive — the Alpaca’s managed to find a crazy waiver wire option in Houston Texans QB Matt Schaub, dropping St. Louis WR Brandon Gibson. He’s one of the best QB’s in the league and he’s all Glittery as my backup. I’ll definitely need him for week 7 when Ryan has a bye, but also if he goes down, which I really hope doesn’t happen. The Falcons are looking hot at 3-0 and he’s the reason why. The Falcons’ defense is a major reason, too. The Beet Farmers rib-kicked me with them for 24 solid points. I hate that about fantasy, when your team hurts your… team. You understand. Speaking of defense, the Cardinals were a waiver wire re-pick up this week for the Alpacas, which was key.

My WR’s sucked, a total bummer, but they all still have upside. Randall Cobb, Roddy White, Anquan Boldin and Donnie Avery all had lame games which won’t happen week in week out. Of course Titus Young has his best game of the season when I bench him.

I had to dump TE Jacob Tamme for a more productive option. I would have grabbed Pittsburgh Steelers TE Heath Miller but he has a bye in week 4 so I picked up the Minnesota Vikings TE Kyle Rudolph who has been productive. The big question mark is how long will it last, but the upside is worth the risk.

The teams my players are facing this week indicate potential for big points from them all. I’m being bold and shuffling around my WR lineup, benching Avery & Cobb in place of Young and Randy Moss. I have to play who’s hot and I like Moss’ matchup against the New York Jets. I feel like any one of these guys can have a productive week. Again — I’m looking for consistency in somebody. Unfortunately, benching Boldin for the second week in a row will likely bite me in the butt — he put up 15 points Thursday night against the Cleveland Browns and is riding the bench. Jeez.

This week is a must-win for the Glittery Alpacas, taking on the Regal Beezers. The Beezers are undefeated but behind my team in total points. Also, there’s a little unspoken rivalry going on between the two clubs.

Smack dat Ass

Smack dat Ass suffered their second loss despite putting up solid numbers and would have defeated every other team in the league except for two this week. Adding fuel to the fire, their manager was sleeping on the waiver wire, forgetting to set his options before Wednesday morning. As a result, they missed picking up the Arizona Cardinals defense and are stuck with the D of the Dallas Cowboys. Total suck. The team did swing Buffalo Bills running back Tashard Choice who’s a decent option in a pinch if Buffalo’s backfield remains unhealthy.

The biggest blow of the week was benching RB Darren McFadden when he finally gets going, and he did it against the Pittsburgh Steelers. Who saw that one coming? Carolina Panthers WR Brandon LaFell started over him, having big games in weeks 1 and 2 but being a total non-factor in week 3. Needless to say, DMC is running week 4.

On paper this team looks sick and there is no reason for them to be 1-2. It appears this week’s opponent is a dummy team, so a victory is certainly in order.

The alpaca was certainly smacked this week in both the CFFL and the Don’t Fumble League — I was dead last in points. Oof.

The Glittery Alpacas

Things looked scary this week for the Glittery Alpacas of the CFFL as they fell from 3rd to 9th. Down a despicable 14-46 going into the Monday Night Football game featuring the Atlanta Falcons vs. the Denver Broncos, the Alpaca’s had a hail mary’s chance of pulling out a win but needed serious numbers from the Falcons’ QB/WR combo, Matt Ryan and Roddy White. They produced, but it wasn’t enough and it turns out the Falcons’ kicker Matt Bryant ended up locking the win for the Alpacas’ opponent, Stafford Infection, managed by none other than the brother of Harry Douglas’d, the team the Alpacas smacked in week 1.

All that is moot now and I can’t even feel bad about leaving points on the bench because those were equally dismal. Here are the week 2 results for the Glittery Alpacas:

Look at the score — 54-60. It’s the lowest scoring match-up of the week despite featuring one of the CFFL’s greatest rivalries. The Toilet Bowl award goes to Stafford Infection. Nicely done.

What buried me this week was Ahmad Bradshaw, RB of the New York Giants getting injured early, leaving with 1 measly point. Also, my TE Jacob Tamme, kicker Dan Bailey and Cleveland Browns defense combined for a whopping 5 points. Obviously, better options are out there for a kicker when the waiver wire has six of them with 20+ points. Turns out dropping the Arizona Cardinals defense in favor of the Browns due to a match up was a bad move (Cards vs. New England Patriots, Browns vs. Cincinnatti Bengals) but I added them back off the waiver wire this week. Still, my team was in desperate need of a facelift so I turned to the waiver wire. Here was my waiver strategy for this week:

That shit’s intense.

The Alpacas badly need some WR help and acquired it off waivers, dropping RB’s Kendall Hunter and Peyton Hillis in favor of WR’s Donnie Avery of the Indianapolis Colts and Brandon Gibson of the St. Louis Rams. Both WR’s posted solid numbers in weeks 1 and 2, so hopefully one of them proves to be a consistent addition.

I spoke highly of Tamme last week when he was almost dropped from my team but pulled in a late TD to justify his spot. In watching the MNF game against the Falcons I noticed the Broncos didn’t line him up much in a receiving position and when he was on the field he was mostly blocking. He received four looks from Peyton Manning, but only brought in two of them. There are decent TE’s on the waiver wire, but it would be a lateral move to part with Tamme to add any of them so I’m sticking with him for now.

Unfortunately I thought I was set at RB, but with Bradshaw injured and Hillis and Hunter proving to be early busts, my RB pool is a lot thinner. I desperately need Ryan Mathews of the San Diego Chargers to be ready to go this week, otherwise I’m in trouble. There are some options on the waiver wire I’m still considering, but I won’t know about them until Friday morning.

Smack dat Ass

Things were equally pitiable for Smack dat Ass this week, falling 66.45-95.20 to Boom Shaka Laka. The worst part about this loss is Shaka Laka’s manager is a Miami Dolphin’s fan. Look at that hideous logo staring back at me, victorious. Burns me up inside.

The second worst part about this loss was leaving 21.70 points on the bench with RB Ben Tate — who the hell saw that coming? Both my starting backs put up horrendous numbers when compared to their week 1 scores, too. Add to it my not starting two waiver wire pick ups from last week in TE Dennis Pitta and WR Brandon LaFell who both outscored my starters and it’s easy to see I ate a box of F.U.B.A.R. Plus, the Cowboys Defense getting thumped and WR Andre Johnson not producing were the daggers to the heart in this loss.

As expected, waiver wire moves were made, adding the Washington Redskins Defense, dropping TE Coby Fleener in favor of TE Martellus Bennett of the NY Giants as insurance. Plus RB Evan Royster had to go in favor of Giants RB Andre Brown who could be a solid pickup if Ahmad Bradshaw is going to miss some time. I tried getting him in the CFFL, too (he was my first waiver wire choice), but it didn’t work out.

How did your team(s) do this week? Any suggested moves you’d like to see on either of my squads for week 3?

Week 1 of the NFL 2012 season is wrapped and with it our first batch of fantasy football scores — how’d your team(s) fare? Mine performed much better than anticipated as I defeated both my opponents within a comfortable margin. The Glittery Alpacas of the CFFL league and Smack dat Ass of the Don’t Fumble league are both 1-0 to start the season. Here are some break downs.

The Glittery Alpacas

This is my pay league with some buddies (and others I’ve never met) that’s been going on for years. It wasn’t always a pay league and it’s ironic considering I was the one who advocated the hardest for it to be a pay league, winning the Championship our last season as a free league but haven’t come close since. There is a story behind my team this season: I had two drafting snafu’s. The first I blame on, the second my own computer. Around round 5 or so I was cuing my late round picks, one of them being Harry Douglas the #3 WR for the Atlanta Falcons. As I was about to click “Add to Draft Cue” it became my turn to draft and the button changed to “Draft Now” as I clicked it. So instead of getting the rookie QB of the Indianapolis Colts to back up Matt Ryan of the Falcons whom I intended to draft at that spot, Harry Douglas was drafted. Face palm. Then the next round my computer froze or something because no matter how hard or often I clicked “Draft Now” it wouldn’t, nor would the system allow me to alter my cue, so in Round 6 I drafted Peyton Hillis. Could have been worse, but still.

As a result of these errors my opponent this week decided to name his team after my Douglas fubar, running with the name “Harry Douglas’d” with a photo of the WR as his team logo. It’s cute and if I’m being honest, I love it as it’s in the spirit of Fantasy Football — trash talk is always welcomed by me. Also, I’m no innocent in this as he may have been getting revenge on me for poking fun at his brother a few years ago with my team name, “Owning Ross One Week at a Time” (the guy drafted kicker Rob Bironas 3rd overall or something). So here are this week’s results for the Glittery Alpacas:

As you can clearly see, sweet, sweet victory was all mine. I could have even started Harry Douglas and would have still thumped my opponent. Kind of wish I had.

Matt Ryan had a monster week for me which is good because he was my Keeper this season — I cut loose Darren McFadden (DMC) in favor of him, which made me uneasy until yesterday. I made a few “football moves” right before game time, too: swapped RB Michael Bush to start over Peyton Hillis and dumped the Jacksonville Jaguars Defense in favor of the Arizona Cardinals D. Both proved to be solid moves. I was thinking about starting WR Randy Moss over Titus Young, but went against it. Next week that will likely happen. Also looking to dump the Cards D for one with a better match up since they’re taking on the New England Patriots in week 2 and I don’t want any of that noise. I have 3 options in mind but will keep mum about them until the waiver wires clear — I don’t know who’s reading this! I’d like to trade Hillis for a backup QB but his performance last week doesn’t help my chances. I was thinking Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Buffalo Bills. I’m pretty deep at RB and once Ryan Matthews returns for the San Diego Chargers, I’ll really be set.

The position I was most satisfied with, even though he only netted me 10 points, is Jacob Tamme my TE of the Denver Broncos. The TE position is a tough one to draft — there are only a small pool of guys who will score double digits in that spot on a consistent basis and they all usually get picked up quickly. All the other TE’s are a crap shoot and lack consistency, only scoring 5 points or so a week. This year the TE pool went fast as usual, but I drafted Tamme (late I might add) due to his rapport with Peyton Manning when they were both Colts and it paid off. I hope my kicker Dan Bailey doesn’t feel comfortable on my team — another piss poor performance like that and he’s out. There are too many higher scoring kickers this season and their point totals are used as tie-breakers in our league (don’t ask, I don’t like it either — should be bench points in my opinion).

Smack dat Ass

As for my second league, the Don’t Fumble league, it’s led by one of my best buds and filled with nobody I know personally. It’s my “fun” league as there is no financial investment and I’m not checking the waiver wire multiple times a day. Still, I absolutely crushed my opponent this week and led the league in scoring.

It’s also worth noting this team was auto-drafted. There was a live draft but I missed it and didn’t bother pre-ranking my players. I usually play a team like this once a season just to test my skill against what I think I want. I have to say, based on my line up, the auto-draft did a damn good job! The only player I added after the fact was Houston Texans backup RB Ben Tate (off the waiver wire!) and the Cincinnati Bengals defense which turned out to be a flop. My usual strategy with defenses is to draft them last and play match ups weekly, unless I stumble across a sleeper D who is consistently awesome, then I will hold onto them. Thought the Bengals would play the Baltimore Ravens harder based on what they did last season. Oh well. But Ben Tate off the waiver wire! Here are this week’s stats for Smack dat Ass:

Obviously some bench moves are going to be made this week, but damn, I can’t argue with the results from my starters. DMC won’t have a “bad” week like this again any time soon either. Also, 16 points from a kicker sucks so bad when you’re on the receiving end, which we both were this week.

How did your team(s) do this week? Any suggested moves you’d like to see on either of my squads for week 2?

Water. In an Aquaman glass. Appropriate.

This however is just weird.

Seriously — how did my daughter end up on Aquaman’s shoulder?

superpro1I love comics and I love the NFL so by default NFL SuperPro #2 should be an easy touchdown in my book, right? Wrong! Holy crap is this comic bad. I don’t mean bad in the we-fell-apart-in-the-4th-quarter bad, I mean bad as in watching a game between the Detroit Lions and the Oakland Raiders bad. So it should come as no surprise that this series only lasted 12 issues and a Super Bowl Special before it was canceled.

NFL SuperPro was published by Marvel Comics in 1991 and is written by Fabian Nicieza and drawn by Jose Delbo. I know what you’re thinking, “Fabian Nicieza? He sounds familiar…” And he should as he is the man who created Deadpool, Shatterstar, and X-Force. He’s also written chapters of the X-Men events X-Cutioner’s Song, The Phalanx Covenant, and Age of Apocalypse. His most recent work includes penning the entire Cable & Deadpool series, some issues of Robin and Nightwing, and the Battle for the Cowl tie-in, Azrael: Death’s Dark Knight. With a resume like that it’s tough to swallow the awkward pill that is SuperPro. Artist Jose Delbo is best known for his run on Transformers (1988-1990) and Wonder Woman (vol.1) issues #270-284.

What is the NFL SuperPro comic about? Well, the main character is Phil Grayfield whose career as a pro football player came to a dramatic end when he rescued a little kid who was falling from the bleachers at a football game. Having been to many pro NFL games, I can say that after you’ve had a few beers falling from the 300 level is easier to do than it may sound. Anyway, during the rescue Phil busted his knee beyond repair, but later discovered a powerful football suit. Once Phil put it on he became the ‘super hero’ SuperPro! The suit, complete with an obnoxiously large NFL logo as a breastplate, strongly resembles that of Captain Amazing from the movie Mystery Men, and Phil is equally as arrogant as the character portrayed by the awesome Greg Kinnear. SuperPro’s vehicle of choice is a crappy puke-green colored van with the words ‘Sports Inside’ painted on the door, as his day job is a reporter. Original, right? SuperPro travels around with his side kick/computer guy Ken, who helps him with reporting stories and gathers intelligence while SP is out on the beat.

Issue #2 begins with a flashback of Phil playing Linebacker for Notre Dame University in 1985. He’s a mad man on the field, making tackles and batting away balls at every opportunity. His defensive teammate Karl Moore is jealous of Phil, and when the game is over we see Karl writing down a shit list of plays Phil took away from him. Fast forward 6 years to where Quick Kick, a sword and nunchuck wielding ninja, is mugging some thugs. He’s looking for a shipment of stolen guns for his boss, and when he doesn’t find them, he shoots Michael Frazier who happens to be a player for the Miami Dolphins (in real life Michael Frazier is actually a writer for the Orlando Sentinel, not a football player). Being a Buffalo Bills fan, I was ok with this scene as all Miami Dolphins players should be shot (just kidding, I would never wish harm on someone… well, maybe Tom Brady. Wait a second- what’s with the Miami Dolphin’s theme of the 1990’s)…

We later learn that Michael Frazier wasn’t affiliated with the thugs, but was actually trying to stop two gangs from fighting before Quick Kick intervened. Frazier made it his personal mission to end gang wars in Miami by creating a community out reach program that was “notoriously discouraging local kids from joining gangs.” Hm. I was unaware that good deeds were typically classified as being ‘notorious.’ Anywhoo, Frazier’s Community Center provided tutoring for kids, a daycare for working parents, and a program that employed senior citizens to help keep them active- wowee what a guy!

Upon learning of the shooting, Phil decides to investigate and along with Ken they head to the Community Center to question some ex-gang bangers. The kids tell Phil who stole the shipment of guns to which he declares, “We’re going to nail those punks, so all of the good work you do here can continue!” He and Ken then proceed to run out of the place… so much for maintaining a secret identity, eh?

Quick Kick arrives on the scene first, taking out the thugs in a warehouse and getting his guns back. Then SuperPro shows up and the great reveal is made- Quick Kick is actually Karl Moore from the Notre Dame football team! We’re treated to Phil’s inner monologue, “I don’t know how or why Moore’s become a ninja killer- but I’d better be careful or I’m next on his hit list!” Funny he should mention that, because the readers also have no freakin’ clue how this guy became a ninja. The two duke it out, making their way to a propeller plane which is awkwardly placed inside the warehouse. Quick Kick makes a run for it and takes off, but to his dismay a wing is damaged and the plane crashes into a nearby lake, which appears out of nowhere. The plane explodes, presumably killing Quick Kick and destroying the shipment of guns inside (which somehow made it from the warehouse floor into the plane while the two were fighting).

After SuperPro is informed by a police officer that Michael Frazier has survived his gun wound, we get the moral of the story, “I battled a man who reminded me too much of myself- who thought that winning was all that mattered… and I wasn’t able to show him that what really counts is what you’re fighting for.” I can’t speak for the almighty SuperPro, but the last time I tried to give a full grown man a lesson in morality, I almost got punched in the face. The scene shifts to a cruise ship in the middle of wherever and we meet the real villain, Mr. Sanzionare who looks like a cross between a caveman and a porn star. When Sanzionare (is that a play on ‘millionare’?) gets the memo of Quick Kick’s failure to recover the shipment of firearms, he calls in the big gun; Instant Replay, a guy who can cut (not travel, but cut) through time!


Here are some quotes from the book:

“Call me SuperPro. The game’s over. You lose.” – SuperPro

“Correct your tenses there, Sammy… he was a football player… and he played for the Dolphins!” – Quick Kick

“Smoothest move he makes is off the field… I mean his 3.6 grade point average.” – Jane, Phil’s girlfriend

I read somewhere that Nicieza made this series up as a means to obtain free football tickets, and while I couldn’t prove that claim, I wouldn’t be surprised if it were true. Besides the Dolphins the only other team he plugs in this issue is the Philadelphia Eagles, which is ok by me because my Bills and Atlanta Falcons don’t need any more embarrassing asterisks in their team history.The real moral of this story is that NFL SuperPro #2 definitely proved that sports and comics should never cross paths again.

On this festive holiday, John Daker reminds us what Easter is all about. Sing it brother:

Happy Easter everybody!

[Sabres/Bruins recap coming soon!]

In this edition of Out of Context we feature Peter Parker, a.k.a Spider-Man. In the excerpts below, the secret behind Spider-Man’s webbing is revealed, and we discover what Peter has really been up to over at the Daily Bugle during off hours. Then, we learn a shocking truth about Peter’s past!




Yikes. Skip Westcott, meet Chris Hansen.

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